I am of the belief that everyone, no matter what their level of self-esteem or mental health, should do these every once in a while. That said, mine are affirming that these are okay in moderation–nothing to extremes.

  • I can and will feel a wide range of emotions, positive, negative, and neutral–from sadness, to anger, to boredom, to happiness–and that’s okay.
  • I can and will express a wide range of emotions–and, as long as I recognize them for what they are, that’s okay.
  • There will be some days in which I will dislike or hate all of humankind for the actions of a few–and as long as this isn’t every day, that’s okay.
  • I can be mean, spiteful, and jealous–and that’s okay.
  • I can be sweet, kind, and loving–and as long as I don’t let people walk over me because of that, that’s okay.
  • I will sometimes and in some circumstances, express feelings and opinions that aren’t in line with current feminist thinking (i.e. aren’t feminist), even though that’s how I identify–and that’s okay.
  • I will sometimes be a hypocrite–and as long as I recognize that within myself, that’s okay.
  • I will sometimes pass judgment on people because of their actions, whether I know the person or not–and, as long as I don’t treat them as lesser because of these actions, that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I want to be left alone by people and animals alike–and that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I crave the attention of people–and that’s okay.
  • There will be some days in which I will just want to feel loved–and that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I will lack patience for certain people in my life for things that they cannot really control–and as long as I don’t act like an ass to them because of this, that’s okay.
  • There will be some days I will like the cat(s) better than humans–and that’s okay.
  • I can and will use my privilege in my favor sometimes.  This includes being straight-appearing when I am out in public, especially with my partner, identifying as queer in certain spaces where I know identifying as bi will be seen in a less than positive light, being female, being young, and being raised and living middle-class as well as being intelligent–and, as long as I recognize these privileges within myself, and know that I need to combat them and others in our society–that’s okay.
  • I have sex for many reasons: because I’m horny, because I’m feeling especially attractive that day, because I’m feeling especially attracted to my partner, because I’m bored, because I’m seeking validation of myself as a sexually attractive human being, because I want to make sure my birth control is worth the money I pay for it, because I just want to–and that’s okay.
  • I read erotica and watch pornography–and, as long as I recognize what impact the pornography industry has on the world and actively seek out porn that is made by feminist people/organizations, or, lacking that, amateur porn that appears to have participants that have given full and enthusiastic consent to both the sex and the filming of it–that’s okay.
  • There are some days in which I feel like I need external validation for my beliefs and opinions–and that’s okay.
  • Some meals I will eat on my bed–and, as long as I’m careful about spillage, that’s okay.
  • Some times I will do things the easy way rather than the hard way, even though it might be more fulfilling–and that’s okay.
  • I am not a particularly organized person–and that’s okay.
  • Some days I feel like I should wear make-up to feel beautiful–and that’s okay.
  • Most days, however, I don’t wear make-up because I know I look just fine without it–and that’s okay.
  • Some days I feel particularly femme, so I wear make-up, skirts, heels, and shirts that show off my cleavage.  Some days I feel butch, so I just wear jeans and a moderately baggy t-shirt and only wash my face.  Some days I will feel right in the middle and I’ll do some combination of the above.  No matter how I express myself–that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I feel mad or sad at someone or something for no apparent reason–and that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I am more attracted to women than men.  Sometimes I feel more attracted to men than women.  These are both okay.
  • Some days I will be lazy, whether because of mood or sickness–and that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I will not be the best poly person I can be–jealous, pushing to be somewhere where a partner or metamour may not be comfortable being, complaining about circumstances that are beyond the control of my partner, not really feeling communicative–and, as long as I can recognize these behaviors in myself, that’s okay.
  • Sometimes I will be feeling very apolitical and uninspired by our political system–and that’s okay.
  • There will be days where I feel like the world is conspiring against me–and that’s okay.

Quite an extensive list there, huh?  I’m sure there’s more, I’m just ready to be finished with this.

One thought on “Self-Affirmations

  1. I really like your inclusion in the “and that’s okay.” A lot of people won’t own that whatever they feel is just human. Being able to accept yourself like that is a form of honesty.

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