Relationship: Friend, metamour (former, technically, but the bond that was there while Minx was alive still exists, in a changed way for sure, but still significant)
How long: To be honest, I’m really not sure. I know I have at least known him as long as Minx, but I also know for sure that it has been longer.
How we met originally: He says that we met a couple years ago at one of the parties at the PDC. I don’t doubt him, but I have no recollection of this (probably because I was drunk at the time).
What I like: His honesty. His very open way of addressing the world. The chin dimple (it is adorable). His voyeurism. His brains – I like picking at them. What the joys and trials of parenthood can look like.
What I don’t like: That he lives so far away. The stubble (all stubble is scratchy on my skin).
What our relationship is like: It is very in between right now. We get along well, but the whole busy thing means that we don’t get to spend a lot of time together, which is a bummer. I like picking his brains about things and I love that he picks my brains about things too. I think we will always have the shared bond of losing a partner and that, that is something I don’t seem to have words for.
What I have learned from this relationship: That having someone by your side while experiencing deep things can be a binding experience. Lots about food science and cooking – way more than I thought there ever was to know (you can caffeinate marshmallows and they are amazingly delicious). That sometimes loving does mean leaning and sometimes it means being a steady pillar to lean on.
Random tidbits: I am glad that he and Minx were legally married when she passed, because it meant that she had someone very capable and very sane handling those difficult decisions when it came to the end of her life. I will always admire his ability to remain calm and serene in difficult situations, also, his ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. He does beautiful chainmail work.