Scared

Today, I am scared.

Since WordPress ate my post I am also frustrated – beautiful, pour my heart out post and it eats all but the first line.

But let me see what I can recreate.

I am scared that I will never fall in love again – not that I will not love, because that is a different thing – but that I will never have that hoping, planning, dreaming, head over heels, hormone racing experience again.  With Minx it was cut down right when it was blooming and I am not sure I can take that again and there’s no promise that won’t happen again.

I am scared that all Trydaen will come to remember of me is this depressed person – angry, sad, frustrated – instead of the good that we had for the more than a year before this all happened.

I am scared that I will never work my way out of this depression, that I will be stuck here forever.

I am scared that all my friends will think that I am not worth their time any more because I can’t be as social as I used to be.

I am so scared.

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