Yeah, I got distracted by life this last week, so here’s the combined answers.
17. How do you experience love?
In a complicated way.
What used to be the best indicator to me of romantic love was: “Do I acknowledge this person as a person wholly separate from myself?”. Which is a way difficult thing to do. After a long while, I realized that this is actually a good standard for all sorts of love, not just romantic.
In day to day life, I generally experience love as a sense of importance in someone’s life and of affection for them (in some way). If I don’t feel like I’m important to someone’s life experiences, then I tend to be doubtful of their love.
18. Do you think non-monogamy is more natural than monogamy?
No. I think they’re both social constructs and as long as you choose with informed consent, neither is more natural than the other. Which is why I have a bit of a bone to pick with poly-supremacists who say that non-monogamy is better because it is more natural.
19. Are you currently looking for any more relationships?
Not super actively. If something comes along and I think it might go somewhere, I’m definitely willing and, I think, emotionally able, to give it a shot.
I keep my OkCupid profile fairly up to date and visit it regularly.
20. What would your ideal relationships be?
I’d love to have a stable triad or quad that lived together/nearby.
21. Do you want to live with one or more of your partners?
Yes, I want to live with my current partner at some point in the next few years. We’ve discussed this a number of times, as it was, for awhile, something I didn’t want to do (due to a poor experience living with a former partner). Things are not quite in motion, but it is an active discussion.
22. How do your desires about having children fit with your non-monogamy?
Fairly well, actually, especially if I end up in a long term relationship with a woman who wants to bear children.
I do want to be a parent, as I think I have plenty that I can contribute to a child’s life, but I do not have any desire whatsoever to give birth.
23. Are you out about being non-monogamous?
Partially. To most friends from after high school and to my immediate family (parents and sister). Not at work or to my extended family, because I don’t think it’s any of their business.
24. What’s your favorite book about non-monogamy?
More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux.
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