28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 7

Day 7: What do you think about hierarchical non-monogamy?

I think that it works for some people.

I tend to see it descriptively – some people might describe my anchor partner as my primary and he does sort of fill that role for me.

At this point in time I am open to new primary-type partners, but am more interested in secondary-type partners.


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 6

Sorry for missing a day, so I’ll do two in a day.

Day 6: What does marriage mean to you?

It is a way of binding people’s lives together – protecting their interests as a unit.  It is a commitment that people can make to share their lives for as long as the arrangement works to suit the best interests – mental, physical, and emotional – of the people involved.  It is also a good way to support the raising of children.


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 5

Day 5: How did your family react to you being non-monogamous?

I am only out to my close family and all of them reacted well enough – see the entry on my coming out.

I am not sure how the rest of my family would react – a fair number of them are more conservative than my parents and sister.  I don’t have any intention on outing myself to them unless it is absolutely necessary.


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 4

Day 4: How do you feel about your non-monogamy?

It’s just a thing that’s part of who I am.  I feel a little bad about identifying as poly/non-mono and only having one partner, but I know that that is just how it is at this point in time.


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 3

Day 3: What have been the best and worst experiences you’ve had coming out as non-monogamous?

I’ve been pretty blessed to be honest.

The worst was not bad at all, just timing that was a little wonky.  My non-live in partner was visiting and we lost track of time and my sister showed up on a visit a little early.  So I had to explain the situation to her and she was a bit weird about it, but ultimately cool.

The best was to my parents.  Or at least the most hilarious.  I was visiting their house and finally decided I should out myself to them.  So, visibly nervous, I sat them down in the living room and proceeded to tell them.  My dad, completely straight-faced for only the first few seconds of it, started to go on a hellfire and damnation speech and then started cracking up in the middle because he couldn’t do it.  They both just wanted to make sure that I was safe, healthy, and happy, and I assured them I was (and have continued to do so).


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 2

So, I read about this challenge on Tumblr answering one question each day of February about my personal relationship with non-monogamy and I thought it might be fun.

Day 2: When did you first realize you were non-monogamous?

I don’t know if there was a first realization.  There was a first introduction to the idea and that was in college.

I had a threesome in the first few months I was college.  None of us had a preexisting relationship.  We talked about being in a relationship with all three of us – something we conceived of being possible, but didn’t know any terminology.  So I did research, like I did.  And discovered polyamory.

This relationship never panned out for a number of reasons, but the idea resonated with me.  And I was never quite the same.


28 Day Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 1

So, I read about this challenge on Tumblr answering one question each day of February about my personal relationship with non-monogamy and I thought it might be fun.

Day 1: What type of non-monogamous relationships do you have?

At this moment I have a polyamorous relationship with my partner Trydaen.  We are each technically free to date and otherwise with other people with informed consent.  At the beginning of our relationship both of us were in other long-term relationships, but both of those petered off of their own accord.  I have been in one such relationship of that type since – with Minx, who died – and am only just now again ready to be in that type of relationship again.

I have very close ties with other people in my life.

  • Raven, with whom my relationship took a different, but no less pleasant character, after Minx died.  I enjoy that we’ve had time to become closer and I value that immensely.
  • Asa, whom I have known for near on five years.  Our relationship has a supportive, and/but slightly kinky undertone.

I’ve also gotten some time to spend lately with people in casual settings, dates and the like.  If it goes anywhere, fine.  If not, that’s also cool.  I am just rediscovering my relationship bandwidth.