Emotions

I have historically been the second person to say I love you in a relationship. Been closed over, living in my head for far too long.
Something changed about 2.5 years ago and I don’t know why.
After Minx died I shut down, trying to feel nothing, as anything I felt would be tinged with pain. I went to counseling, got on good depression meds and mostly recovered from that, but something had changed within me.
I felt more – I was happy, sad, and the people I’ve really connected to, I’ve loved more easily, and felt more free. This makes me feel weird – I’ve gotten so many messages from childhood not to show my emotions, just keep the within – so I feel so ashamed being so full of emotions.
I am glad I got to tell Minx that I loved her before she died – I think this may have been the main trigger in all this. I found inspiration with her to be more free, and opted to incorporate that in my life.

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