August Post 30

Feeling: stomach is icky, mood is contemplative

So, most of the people I know, especially those who have known me awhile, may have noticed that I tend to wear rings.  They are my favorite type of jewelry after all, despite my many piercings.

Why?  Rings are a connection to my mom’s side of the family.  Everyone wears them, at least within one step of distance.  Gender does not impact this, nor does marital status.  They are a gift of connection.  They are symbolic, given whatever meaning we wish to impart.  My rings have tended towards the androgynous – plain bands and simply adorned ones.  They are a reminder that I belong to something a bit bigger, that I am part of a never-ending circle.

I used to wear far more rings than I do now.  Due to some medical reasons, my fingers have had some issues staying the same size, so I’ve had to switch them around and eventually take most of them off.  These days I wear two rings, each on the ring fingers of opposite hands.  

On my left hand, a titanium band with a rainbow inset.  I got this custom made, with a matching one for Trydaen, for our hand fasting more than a year ago.  It is meant as a show of commitment, rather than a marker that I am off the market.  I chose titanium because of its durability, the color to add character, and custom made because I wanted to give my money to an independent artist.  The rainbow is lovely, but also has symbolism – little known fact that rainbows are actually circular, we just can’t see the rest of it.  We did not exchange rings at the ceremony – we had “engagement” rings we wore beforehand and a couple hours before the ceremony we exchanged them for the ceremony rings in only the presence of my sister and (former) roommate.  To have that be quiet and private was just perfect.

On my right hand, a black tungsten carbide ring.  I have, for a long time, worn a ring on this finger.  It is meant as a reminder of the commitment I have to myself, to my relationship with myself.  It is a reminder that I should nourish and strive to grow within this relationship and I am very glad that, to this day, I have been doing exactly that.

Others’ Rings

Trydaen: He has taken to wearing the “engagement” ring on his left hand lately.  He says it is for no particular reason.  I think, like me, he enjoys having something to fidget with.  But I do find this interesting – he never wore his wedding ring when he was married.  Does it mean anything?  I’m not sure, but I do really like that he does wear it.

Diplomat: For some reason, his wedding ring really reminds me of my father’s.  I’m not actually even sure why, as they are not even the same color.  Maybe it’s just a matter of its simplicity and the beauty in that?  I think this bodes well.

My father: My hands are mostly shaped like my father’s – short, stubby German peasant fingers.  But they are hard-working hands, with a family history of hard work.  So my father’s wedding ring stands out a bit from all that.  It is simple and copper colored.  I have never seen him take it off.  From him, this is a symbol of his love and commitment to my mother, and his dedication to their cause.

My maternal grandmother: She of the rings.  My grandmother admired beauty in all its forms and I only ever saw her a few times without a full adornment of shiny rings (when she was in the hospital and nursing homes near the end of her life).  There were a few she always wore and she’d tell their stories with a look in her eye of something loved and long past.  I think she collected them as a reminder of times gone past.  Her rings were something that were carefully arranged for in her will – those that weren’t specifically mentioned were to be distributed to whichever child or grandchild wanted them.  Our ring styles are much different, but I prize these bits of her memory that I can hold onto.

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