November Write 16


CN: food, appetite issues, body talk, love languages, family, holidays

I love food.  Which may come as a surprise to those who think of me as a picky eater.

Not long after coming in contact with the idea of love languages, I hit upon several realizations that made some stuff click for me.

  1. Love languages aren’t just one way concepts.  What I mean by that is that I have some different love languages for giving and receiving, and, having talked to other people about this idea, I don’t think I’m the only one.  Fortunately, at least for me, my number one is true for both giving and receiving (touch).
  2. The reason that the number two slot generally has a tie is because I prefer giving acts of service and receiving words of affirmation.
  3. Cooking and baking are my favorite acts of service to perform…which is what brings this idea back to food.

Most of my favorite memories from my childhood revolve around food – making and eating, mostly.  My extended family gathered together in the kitchen to cook and talk for holidays: Easter, Thanksgiving, holiday cookie baking, and Christmas.  I just can’t imagine the holidays without that – but, as an adult, that has extended to my chosen family and polycule as well.  Which is why I hate being closeted about poly to my family – I cannot invite any partner other than Trydaen to extended family events, even when they would probably enjoy it more than he would.

It is seriously hard for me to stay out of the kitchen when someone is cooking or baking, especially when I know them well.  It’s not that I have any desire to correct their actions or take attention away from the process for them, but the kitchen is home to me – where food, love, and conversation are connected in the strongest way.

So, as most of my readers probably know from talking to me in person, my new meds have given me appetite issues.  I am not often hungry and when I am, I can eat far less than I used to be able to.  So, given the connection between love and food for me, this can be emotionally painful at times.  But I am learning to cope, mostly by giving food, even when I cannot receive it well.

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