I do not know what to write on. I want to talk about being in love (doesn’t every lover?), but there is more feeling there than words can ever describe. There is more depth there than we are equipped to handle, I think. For being just a cascade of hormones that seeks to bond human beings for the purpose of propagating the species, it sure is a potent thing. But, above all that, it is a choice.
I’m not saying we actively choose to fall in love or not fall in love with someone. If that were the case, oh, life may be far easier then. But we choose the path that gets us there.
Yes, there is some control that we don’t have. We don’t choose who we find sexually attractive. We don’t choose those for whom we get that intense rush of bonding chemicals for or what degree we get them with any given person.
We do choose to go to that party or respond to that message. We choose to engage with someone, to talk, to message, to touch. We may not choose who that hormone cascade happens for – that surge of attraction (sexual, romantic, intellectual, physical, emotional) – but we choose what we do about it. We can choose to form meaningful relationships even without the surge of mating chemicals, even sexual and romantic relationships. We choose our engagements with people. We choose what we say. We choose what promises we make. We choose what physical activities we pursue with people, what sexual activities we pursue with people, what intellectual activities we pursue with people.
We build relationships with our choices. We build love with our choices.