Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 10

10. Thoughts on PDA?

This one actually has changed since the last time I did this challenge, that I know for sure.

For a long time PDA made me slightly uncomfortable – I was okay with holding hands (heck, I found it rather intimate and still do) and pecks on cheeks and lips, but beyond that (cuddling, making out, pinning someone to a car with my hands and body in a show of mild dominance were all out.  Those were reserved for private spaces.  I could not, and still cannot explain why, other than “it just makes me uncomfortable”.

But something has changed in the last year.  After I came out of my period of grief recovery my life had changed.  My outlook on the world and love had changed, quite dramatically.  The big realization I had during that almost two year period of time was that I did not want to waste my life reserving myself, being private, being closed off to the world and waste what precious life I had left in the shadows.  I wanted to be fully me, with people who could accept and rejoice with me for that.

So when I went on my first date with Diplomat, I decided to me bold, to flirt with touch as well as words.  And damn, that worked out well.  I found someone else for whom touch is very important for connection.  Who wants to touch me.  And that isn’t just reserved for private spaces.

He is the first person for whom PDA beyond holding hands and pecks has felt comfortable and completely right.  And I rejoice in that.  Love, that brings me such joy. <83

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