17. How do you define “intimacy”? Is sex required for it to be a ‘real relationship’?

Intimacy is very much tied into deep passionate conversations and copious touch for me.  If we don’t have one or the other, it simply will not work out in the long run – I’ve tried it and the connection always felt lacking.  I am the introvert who loves long deep individual conversations running late into the night about things that matter to me and to them – soliciting opinions, asking questions that get to the root of the idea.  And building on them.  Over a prolonged period these kinds of conversations can really be a turn on – especially if we can talk and touch at the same time.  Mmmmm…

Sex is not required for a relationship to be “real”, though it certainly does help (me) sometimes.  Yes, it can be a benchmark for a relationship, but it is, by far, not the only one noteworthy or worthwhile.  That is one of the things I love about poly – we can build real relationships with people and they can take whatever form they take, without pressure to do or be anything more than what they are. I have and have had in the past, loving relationships that did not or currently do not contain sex.  I have had sexual relationships that did not contain anything beyond platonic love.