Non-Monogamy Challenge Day 21

21. Thoughts on fluid bonding?

My definition goes beyond sexual fluid exchange and into blood and other bodily fluids.

I am super picky about fluid bonding.  I have been fluid bonded with two partners in my life and for both I required testing before we did that, even though we had been sexing for awhile, and I plan on continuing that testing requirement.

I will not do it before the six month mark – that is the absolute minimum.  I need to have that time to figure out if I have absolute trust with my partner, their safer sex pratices, and their communication standard.  Giving it six months also gives more time for some of the NRE to wear off, so we are both relatively sane (it’s all relative) when making the decision to forgo barriers.

I need to also have faith in my method of birth control.  For the first time, we only ever occasionally exchanged fluids, so I wasn’t super concerned, even though being on the pill made me nervous about this.  With the other, I already had my Mirena IUD and I have great faith in that, so that wasn’t really a concern.

If there’s any breaches in sexual practices – whether that be an STD/STI worry, a trust issue, a consent issue, or a problematic (for a variety of reasons) outside partner – then it is time to go back to using barriers until the issue is resolved, then talk again about whether we want to go back to being fluid bonded.

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