Five ways to win your heart?
1. Candid, forthright honesty. Tell me what you like about me. Tell me what you think I can improve on (bonus points if you can offer suggestions on how to do so). Tell me what you think about the world.
2. Active listening. I love to tell stories. I get this from my dad (he will tell stories even to customer support when looking for help – my mother is much more straightforward). I will tell you a lot about myself in my stories, about what makes me tick, about what I am looking for in life. If you ask me questions about what I’m talking about, I know you’re listening and that makes me feel very special.
And yes, I know sometimes I blather on – to tie into #1 – please tell me to shut up if I am. I would prefer hearing that to disinterest/disengagement.
3. Remembering my little quirks. Like what my love languages are and why I distinguish between giving and receiving love languages. Like what my favorite cut flowers to receive are (roses), but that I generally prefer live plants. My favorite foods. How sensory processing issues manifest for me and making a comfortable environment for me without the bad ones. Know how I like my bacon cooked. So on, and so forth…
4. Take me to the theater/opera. Talk to me about theater and opera. Seriously. I love getting the opportunity to dress up and enjoy a show, then talk to someone about it afterwards so I can process it.
5. Hold my hand in public. I want you to be proud/happy to be with me where we are and skin to skin contact, especially on hands, helps me feel very appreciated.