Winter has been mehing all over me lately, so I haven’t been up to writing much – the brain’s still going with the ideas, but the translation to words has been a bit scattershot.
I was thinking the other day about the myriad of weird little ways that love shows up for me.
1. Being concerned about me not eating/making sure I eat at least occasionally. Not forcing the issue (if I am seriously not hungry or feeling seriously nauseated there is very little I am willing to put in my body), but poking at it every once in awhile.
2. Long, involved conversations. Especially if it is about something one or both of us is/are super interested in.
3. Pictures. I like seeing myself with my partners and chosen family.
4. Calling me out. No, seriously. I may dislike you for a bit, but I hear you and often when I have time to process, I realize that there was a reason why it came up when and how it did.
5. If we’re intimate in that way, showering or bathing with me. Or sitting and talking with me while I do, if not up for the water.
6. Playing games with me (and putting up with my odd taste in games). Board games, card games, video games, RPGs, doesn’t matter.
7. Taking into consideration that I am neurodivergent, and mentally and physically ill. I have aches and pains that show up, sometimes unpredictably, and they really impact my energy and mental and emotional health when they flare up. When my ADHD meds wear off for the day or I forget to take them, I can be a bit erratic energy level wise. I can mostly handle doctors’ appointments, but I really want to talk to the people I am close to about what goes on.
8. Giving me time to process internally. I am not an external processor; trying to do so cruds up my whole process. ADHD piles on top of this – I will have things going on in my brain that hearing lots or taking in lots of information will interrupt.
9. Recognize and respect my boundaries and be able to set ones of your own. I am far more able to respect that you are willing to stand up for what matters to you if you give me boundaries.
10. If I’m not doing well, checking in on me occasionally. Not often, as that can get annoying, but every once in awhile, just in case I need the help.
11. Tell me you love me. Occasionally even tell me why, or how, or what for.