When I visualize the kind of relationship I want, how much space does it leave for new partners to shape the relationship to their needs?
Some, I guess? I’m not quite sure how to answer this question.
My visualization tends to come from feeling the people out that I am interested in forming a relationship with, seeing what they are open to and what I can work with. If I think there’s enough there, I give myself some space to plan and some space to dream. If not, I try to let things fade, try to not get my hopes up.
This is why conversation about these kinds of things is important to me. It makes me feel secure in a relationship to know where I fit into things and where there is some flexibility in that.
Ideally, each relationship gets to stand on its own or fall on its own. And each of us plays our part in that.