What makes me feel cherished, loved and secure?
In no particular order:
Having regular scheduled get togethers with my partners (the more entangled/involved the relationship, the more likely I am to want this to actually be on a given day that is ours. With my more casual partner, we just see each other when we can, with the understanding that we want to keep doing that, but we’re both fairly busy people.)
Random touch – reach for me when we’re out walking, give me a hug, cuddle up next to me on the couch, put your head in my lap
Random communication – reach out to me when you’re thinking about me, even if it’s just to check in or share something that you think I would like.
Occasional gifts – whether it be a physical object, time, or service, just giving of yourself to me occasionally makes me feel really loved and cherished
Active/communicative listening – when I say something or share a story, a problem, or a bit of advice, acknowledging that (even if it isn’t anything you’re interested in). I’m not asking for right away, just at some point.
Tiny celebrations – celebrating the little anniversaries, the little victories in life with me makes me feel like I am important to you
Integration – The one thing that makes me feel the most secure in my relationships is working towards integrating me and our relationship into your everyday life. There are a number of forms this could take: introducing me to your other partners, introducing me to your friends, taking me to events that matter to you, introducing me to your partners, inviting me to events with my partners, including me in pictures that you keep around, you spending time in my living space and you spending time in mine, opening up lines of communication for me (if/when needed – not a matter of depending on that in the long-term, just mostly as an introductory measure), and spending time with our cule as a group, just as examples.