Your favorite LGBT quote
This one really struck me the first time I saw it. To me, identifying as queer is important because of the reclaimed aspect of the word – you used this word against the LGBTIA community for so long, now we’re taking it back. There is power in our language and this quote really goes there for me.
Your favorite LGBT song or artist.
So, I’m going to be cliched here and say Mary Lambert.
When I was dating Minx, hearing her songs for the first time – that was revelatory. Not that I didn’t think that there was something worth celebrating about being in a relationship with a woman, but that there was a relatively mainstream artist who was celebratory about her queer relationships, instead of sweeping them under the carpet.
Then I heard she was a local artist and that she went to school with Lola. So, yeah, the connection to her music hasn’t withered at all. “Same Love” still makes me tear up, each time I hear it.
Your favorite LGBT role model/celebrity.
The people who organize queer inclusive events, who are inclusive of the wide spectrum of queer and trans/non-binary identities.
I find that a lot of the people I used to idolize in the queer community have either fallen by the wayside or have some problematic views on gender binaries.
Your favorite LGBT movie (or one you’d like to see).
Better Than Chocolate. Or Breakfast on Pluto. Depends on what I’m in the mood for – camp or romance.
Your favorite LGBT book (or one you’d like to read)
Yikes, I realize I haven’t read that many. Do graphic novels count? If so, definitely Fun Home. Alison Bechdel, she of the Bechdel test, writes/draws her adventures growing up with an in the closet dad, eventual figuring out that she’s queer herself. There’s a musical version coming to town this summer and I am So. Fricking. Excited!
What does marriage mean to you?
I answered this question during the 30 day challenge I did in December, here is my answer:
Marriage is a bonding together of at least two people because they feel they can make a life together.
It is likely something that I will never have – to be honest, I am less disappointed with that idea than I used to be. I like the idea of committing to someone like that – with poly it doesn’t have to be just one person and it doesn’t have to be forever (though for me, long-term is preferable – I love the comfort of long-term relationships).
To expand on this – marriage does not necessarily need to be romantic or sexual, but I think that the choice to remain together, choosing each day to be with each other, for whatever reason(s), is important. But that’s important in any long-standing relationship and is not limited to marriage.
What do you think about LGBT Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encouraged or unnecessary?
I think it is fabulous. The focus is in the process of changing though, to be more inclusive of everyone who isn’t a white cisgender gay man, and I like the direction that is heading. Pride organizers need to remember though, that any sort of shaming of non-monosexual and non-binary people at Pride events is unacceptable – just because we don’t conform to your queer narrative does not mean that this is not our holiday too. Please remember us in your events!
Also, for the love of all that is holy and unholy – do not forget that Pride happens because of a group of non-white transwomen who had the gall to stand up to the establishment for their right to exist without harassment (and worse)!
I have been going to my local Pride parade for the last, I think, 7 or 8 years now. Ever since I started going I haven’t missed one. It is one of the few events where nothing else gets scheduled – that Sunday is sacred. Last year was the first time I marched in the parade (loads of fun), with our local leather contingent (I’m adjacent to that scene, but it still didn’t feel quite right). This year I’m going to be marching with our local bisexual women’s network (they are all gender/no gender inclusive), which feels a lot better to me – I do think I’m going to try to rep the non-binary angle for that.