August Post 24

Feeling: very icky

Just got triggered by something that I had a warning on, and I don’t know, maybe I should have not read it, maybe I though I’d be ok.  But no, I wasn’t.  And I hate it.  And I hate me for not skipping over it. But now…now I just can’t.  I’m envious, and hurt, and a whole lot of other emotions I don’t have words for.  I’m high, so I don’t have my usual filter…everything just comes at me.  Sometimes that’s wonderful, because I can chill my brain out and just let it roll off.  Now…fuck.  It’s all coming at me and the shelved emotional ouch from the last few days that I thought was resolved has fallen off the shelf at me.  I just want to curl up in a ball and tune out and not exist for hours.