I am greatly enjoying my campaign of joy. Even after just two days, the world looks just a bit brighter. That is not to say this is any cure to depression, but it has been helping me to have more overall joy in my life.
My experiment – to add to the group I have for this (so happy to see my family, friends, and spoonie folks all in the same place – that in itself is quite a joy), sending a few of my morning joys to Diplomat (unbeknownst to him until now – the inspiration for this whole idea), and, whenever I have a criticism of someone, no matter how large or small, to add something nice to it, something I like about them, even if i don’t know them, so it is superficial. The last bit – actually actively looking for joy and pleasantness in my day to day life, even among the things that drive me crazy or just annoy me – has been a challenge and a gift, but I am enjoying the process. Binding joy to my life, even in the darkest of days.
I want to write letters to those in my life, split over this write and the next two.
To my friends,
I am very proud of you. I am amazed with the breadth and depth of your response to this horrendous election. I have seen those people who do not often post on Facebook, come out with beautiful diatribes, full of understanding and an acknowledgement of just how bad it could be.
I have seen the beginnings of a new movement burst into life, fresh and full of energy. I used to be skeptical of the power of the Internet and social media sites to create full social movements with power, participation, and enthusiasm, simply because we simply do not have many years of the internet to look at the history of how social movements interact with it. But the last few years have shown me that it is simply not the case that a social movement can’t form on the internet and take flesh in real life. I have seen you do it. I have seen you take your convictions to the streets, willing to protest and potentially even be arrested for the sake of a social movement and be willing to come to the aid of any person from a marginalized minority, even to the point of physically fighting to protect them.
To my fellow queers of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities: you are astounding! Your reactions have galvanized me and my conviction to be visible as a queer person. I will support you, whichever path you take in regard to this presidency – going back in the closet, retaining you outness as is, or step any further out of the closet. I cannot choose for you – if you think it would be safer for you to retreat, I will give you whatever support you need (short of large sums of money – I am limited in that regard) to remain the safest, sanest, and most secure during this time.
To my friends who voted for TOWSNBN: I hold you responsible for protecting the rights of your minority friends. You elected him – now, hold him to, at the minimum, basic standards of human decency, to genuinely make this country great. I don’t care why you voted for him – it simply does not matter.
The idea in poly that we could love people the same is rather silly. I do not love anyone the same as anyone else.
I love my parents because I honestly believe that they did the best job they knew how to do to raise my sister and me. They have been supportive even when they had no idea how to handle an introverted bi poly kid. I appreciate that. They have both tried to have an adult relationship with my sister and I and respect, generally, that they raised two very independent minded children.
I emphatically love some of my friends. It’s mostly because they’ve been around when I’ve needed people around and chose to stay in my life and bond with me. Some of them I want to have sex with, some I’d consider, some I have. It may have an effect on how I love them. It may not. I’m not sure, and for each it is different.
I love Grey Sky. I fell in love with him (for lack of a more preferred pronoun) very early on in things, not sure why so early, may be a matter of leaving my heart open. He is very sweet and I know he tries to be the best partner he can, given the limited opportunities to physically express it. Grey Sky gives me ammunition to love myself and in doing so, is far more lovable. I want to convey that to him – whatever he brings to the table, I will love him for it. I want to grow my Dom/top self with him, give him chances to know a part of me that I don’t often show. And I hope he feels comfortable enough to show the same.
I have been with Trydaen for near on four years. My love for him has blossomed and metamorphosed through that time. I love him because he folded himself into my life very well, because he gives me new mysteries every day, because he chose to stick with me even when it was not an easy thing to do, because he touches me even when that is not an easy/comfortable thing for him to do. We both are strong-willed, so when we fight, we really do, but it never escalates into abusive patterns. I like that he is willing to stand up to me.