My brain is occupied by brain weasels. At this point they have a permanent residence there. I don’t know if its a side effect of anxiety or depression, but they can be kind of comforting to have there, in a weird way. I get used to them in the winter, but this fall/winter I have decided I can face them straight on. Look them in the face and say, like to a toddler prematurely awoken from a nap: “Go back to bed”. I don’t think this will be easy – like a toddler, I don’t think they’ll be quick to go back to bed. But here’s the thing – I have a great battalion behind me. Great partners, a great chosen family, a great med management ARNP, and a lot of experience doing doing battle with the weasels. Truth being, I don’t want them to leave – some of my personality quirks are shaped by my worries and anxieties. Where would I be without them? But I think they can take longer naps between appearances.
Tag Archives: sad
August Post 3
Feelings: sad and angry
Sad because running in hot on Minx’s deathiversary – thought this year might be different. After all, it’s been 3 years, that’s long enough, right? Nope. Not enough. I wonder if it ever will be.
Angry because all the people’s commemorative posts are making the sad even worse – intruding on my sorrow. Dumping inwards. I know it’s not the intention to make me angry and that everyone is dealing with their own grief how they do.
But I just don’t have anything left today. May have some tomorrow. We’ll see.