Trydaen is my anchor partner. In a few short days we will have been together four years. Considering I’ve never made it past three before, this leads me to pondering what is different with this one?
I call him my anchor because that’s the term that fits best for me – he has been who I can go back to and cry to when times are rough with my other relationships, who keeps me from becoming unhinged, who challenges me to be a better and kinder person. This is not to say he is without faults, because that is, like with everyone, not true. He can make me so mad when he tries to out-stubborn me or raises his voice at me.
Our relationship started out, like most do, with a period of great passion and chemistry. For me that lasted a long time. But what happened then is what I think matters more to the big question. We figured out how to live with each other’s faults and how to negotiate with each other. And this has been an ongoing process.
Of the many times I’ve asked why he loves me, I’ve never gotten an answer. He says he doesn’t know why, just that he does. Recently the question has become “I’ve been/am a depressed mess. Why are you still with me?” The answer is always something along the lines of: Because you make me happy far more often than not. The one that truly touched me was that he said he misses me when I do not stay with him. After four years, I think that might mean more to me than “I love you”.