Feeling: happy and something else

CW: sex, especially my sex life.  If you don’t want to know about it, feel free to skip this post.

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OK, there we go.

I am reminded of a couple things today.  The first one being that it is wonderful for me to have an emotional tie when it comes to sex.  As I’ve said it before, love is definitely not necessary, but it is a matter of having an emotional bond to a person, a connection that goes beyond “this physical act gives me pleasure”.  Not that I haven’t had great encounters, where “this physical act gives me pleasure” was the primary concern, but if I was to be told to choose between the two, I would choose the one with the emotional connection.  I haven’t quite figured out why yet.  I’ve played around with the idea that it’s a matter of accountability to each other, that if something goes wrong, that we’ll be better equipped to take care of each other and ourselves, but I’m not sure that’s all of it.

The second thing being that I am glad of the work I have done to untangle PIV from the notion of sex.  This took me a great deal of time.  Part of what has helped is fucking people with vulvas/vaginas.  There is no doubt left in my mind that I have fucked and been well and thoroughly fucked, but look…no penis!  What part of this is is that even though I haven’t always been able to orgasm from certain sorts of penetration (wow, that’s only about a year old), I have always enjoyed it.  It has been something I’ve always enjoyed out of sex. But within the last three or four years, I’ve been realizing that I enjoy penetration by objects and hands as much as penetration by penises.  And I enjoy giving penetration, as well.